Perspective
Perspective is a quiet shift that changes everything, positive or negative. It’s easy for women to get caught in the quiet stress humming beneath the surface, with comparisons creeping in when we least expect them.
Or maybe it is the overwhelming feeling of doing everything for everyone and still feeling like it’s never enough.
Perhaps it’s the premature demise of a budding career interrupted to raise a family or the ache of an unraveled relationship. Our perfect life doesn’t look like how we once pictured it.
Elise
She’d checked off all the boxes: college degree, stable family, 2.5 kids, a dog and cat, and a job with responsibilities neatly lined up like folded laundry. And yet, something inside her felt like her life was unraveling.
Rest and refreshing sleep came in spurts, and mornings came too soon. Over-shared social media successes were relentless. From her vantage point, everyone seemed to be thriving, but she barely managed to make it from one day to the next.
Changing Perspective
One afternoon, after racing through errands and silencing another wave of self-doubt, Elise sat in her car in the grocery store parking lot, staring out the window, rain tapping gently on the windshield. Something wasn’t right.
She had intense feelings about something, but what? Fighting off a panic attack, her breaths came in short, sharp gasps. Her world wasn’t collapsing, but it was closing in.
Her lungs began to ache when she realized she was holding her breath. As she tightly gripped the steering wheel of her favorite car, she heard her grandmother’s soothing voice: “Relax, honey. Take care of yourself. Breathe.”
With tears rolling down her cheeks, she obeyed and took in a deep ragged breath, the kind that expands your ribcage and makes your shoulders fall.
Holding it in, she counted to four, breathed out, and repeated the sequence twice, as she had learned in yoga class. As she exhaled the third breath, the tension in her shoulders began to relax, and her breathing became smooth again.
Transformation
As she pulled out of the parking lot, Elise barely noticed the transformation. On the ride home, she realized her grandma’s admonition drew her to the “Take Care of You First!” self-care videos she watched every night.
Her thoughts had shifted. She did not speed up or even look for the police who had given her a warning last week. It did not matter that dinner would be late. For the first time, she wasn’t trying to handle everything at once or even plan her next move in advance. She drove in the slow lane and listened to her current favorite Electronic Dance band.
Her thoughts drifted to the phrase her grandmother often said: “Your life’s not falling apart? It’s temporarily unfolding. This, too, will pass.”
Point of View
When she rolled into the driveway, greeted by her family and her dog’s rapidly wagging tail, she realized she wasn’t failing. She lived with rough edges, tangled threads, and meaning like everyone else.
From that day forward, she changed her point of view, but not her schedule or circumstances, to accommodate others. Whatever passed through her mind, she observed without judgment. And when it faded, she let it go.
Her new viewpoint didn’t change the to-do list or make dinner cook itself, but it calmed the static inside.
Final Thoughts on Perspective
Perspective may not seem like much at first. But more than a tool, it’s a lens. When we pause, clean the glass, breathe, and adjust the angle, we often discover a clearer, more compassionate view of our lives. We stop chasing where we should be and start honoring how far we’ve come.
What about you?
When was the last time you took a moment for yourself and shifted your point of view? If this message speaks to you, share it with a friend who might need the reminder. And if you’d like more gentle encouragement like this, “Take Care of Yourself First!” and join our newsletter, written for women like you: wise, strong, and still unfolding.
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Kat DeLeon
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